Special Leave and Full Benefits for Same-Sex Couples

August 23, 2013 | Terry Howell

Defense Secretary Hagel announced that gay and lesbian members of the military who wish to marry now qualify for up to seven days of uncharged leave to travel to a state where such marriages are legal. To qualify for this one-time special homosexual “marriage leave” accommodation, servicemembers must be stationed more than 100 miles from a state where same-sex marriages are legal. Those assigned outside of the continental U.S (to include Alaska and Hawaii) will get up to 10 days of extra leave. The new same-sex marriage leave is not counted against a servicemembers 30 days annual leave.

According to Tom Philpott’s recent Military Update, Hagel explained the rationale behind the extraordinary benefit in an Aug. 13 memo to service secretaries.

Read the Military Update for more details about the decision to grant the new leave benefit.

The Aug. 13 memo also announced that the services are to begin providing full military benefits to married gay members, including spouse ID cards, no later than Sept. 3. The full benefits and payments will be retroactive to June 26, 2013 and include TRICARE, housing allowances, subsistence allowances, and family separation allowances.

According to Philpott, same-sex couples that were legally married before that date, will be eligible for back pay of spouse-related allowances and spouse medical care reimbursements. However, they will not be eligible for the extra leave benefit.

Read more about the plan to expand military benefits to same-sex couples.

About Terry Howell

Before becoming the Managing Editor for Military.com, Terry served 20 years in the U.S. Coast Guard as an Aviation Electrician’s Mate and aircrewman. In his final role in the Coast Guard, Terry served as a Career Development Advisor, where he provided career, finance, education, and benefits counseling to servicemembers and their families. Since retiring from the Coast Guard, Terry has authored the book, The Military Advantage, managed the content for TurboTap, the DoD's online transition program and VAforVets, the VA's transition assistance website. Terry earned both his Bachelor's and MBA at Corban University using Military Tuition Assistance and his GI Bill benefits to help cover the cost.

Comments

  1. Mark Wynn says:
  2. I agree. I did not recieve any unchared leave to marry my spouse. I am all for gay and lesbian soldies being given the same rights and benefits…but not extra time..and if you do why more than 3 days? Two to travel and one to do the deed………..

  3. Well, everyone should get 7 days for marriages or honeymoons. If not, then the heterosexuals are being discriminated against due to the preferential treatment of the gays.

  4. It's not given to gay or straight service-members who are legally allowed to get married on or near their duty station. Therefore, it's legal and fair.

    • Everybody is given 30 days of leave per year. 30 days is much more than many other businesses and organizations. I did 365 days in Iraq, and returned for 15 days R/R (Charged Leave) where I also got married during. I am all for equal rights, but this is not right. Don't care who or what you want to marry, if you have have leave to get married either by choice or by situation, it should be charged leave. If I have to go on emergency leave because a close family member dies and it is charged, you should not be able to get free leave for something like this.

      • boxwrench says:

        Mike, I bet they get paid also when on this "uncharged " leave. When I was active, you had to earn leave, 1 1/2 days per month. At the very least the gay members shouldn't be paid to get free leave. I just can't fathom the military now finding more dollars to satisfy the new "political correctness" of same sex partners. Where will it all end. Next, same sex couples will want government assistance for adoption, artificial insemination, and medical payment for same sex medical problems. If it wasn't for my religious upbringing, I would say do away with marriage if it is coming down to this. Sex between same sex partners is for pleasure, not for procreation. God help us! Maybe it's time to look for another country.

    • It's still not fair. The NEW army seems to be catering to the gays. It's B.S. If a service member is in a long term relationship to the opposite sex how come they don't get benefits? It's the same thing. Gay marriages are NOT legal in all states, so that means all they are doing is playing house.

    • Most military go home to get married so it isn't right that gay people get that extra time to go home. This kind of special treatment causes resentment. If they want to give them the same benefits as everyone else, so be it, but they shouldn't be given extra benefits.

  5. Old Boat Guy says:

    This just shows how extreme this adminstration is and how in the world can the chain of command support this? No matter how out of this world the demands are that are dumped on the military, the top dogs just nod and do as told. The service chiefs are claiming that there is not enough money for pretty much anything, but lets just give this time off and not have it count again your leave because we want to be "nice". When I married, I had to postpone my wedding three times due to "the needs of the service". And once we were married, I was allowed only two days of regular leave due to "the needs of the service". Would have been really nice to have had a policy like this in effect then, but then again, poor me, I'm not gay. Oh, well. You know come to think of it…after 27 years on active duty, I can't think of any time I was ever in an "uncharged leave" status.

    • Old Boat Guy,

      I don't one iota support free/uncharged leave for anyone getting married. I will just say this though, I've had many a days of permisive TDY which is basically no different than free or uncharged leave. For instance, House hunting at my new Post, and even free days to go and do a face to face records check.

      What's unforttunate, is that things like this is going to happen over and over again until someone somewhere decides everything is what they concieve as equal for straights and others.

  6. I 'm so glad I retired of 32 years of military service. I welcome change, but the military is going down not "Army Strong" -"Army Weak" . I had death in my immediate family and I was giving 3 days and charge 3. When God is taking out of military bad things begin to happen.

    • larry,

      You say you had a death in your immediate family and was given 3 days of leave, and charged for 3 days of leave! I don't understand, doesn't everyone get charged for the leave they take?????

      You say when God is taken out of the military bad things begin to happen! Are you suggesting that all Military Church's are being torn down and Chaplains being let go from the service.

      PS: It is really hard to make sense of what it is you posted.

  7. It's time to accept that this is a totally different world now. I did to preserve what little sanity that I have remaining.

    Don, Retired USN

    • Don,

      This is nothing but a thing. None of this is making me insane or anything else related. I will never change my mind though, that allowing those other than the norm (man and woman) to marry is what is right. If I was still in the service, I would accept this and move on, but I would never change my mind that marriage should only be between a man and women, period.

  8. I guess the military has changed, I am glad I retired, this ie not military anymore, we are running a place for people to show there sex prefernce, not military, I was taught to do my job, not put mt sex out in the open, that stays in my house, pretty said when you have to use sex as a weapon in the military, what did you think, everyone was going to roll over because of your sex , bull shit, you joined, the military trained you to do a job, so now do it, you want to get married, you do that on your own time, use your leave, get it done then go back to work, stop broadcasting your sex, all you will do is make a uncomfortable situation for all concerneed.

  9. I agree with some of the comments listed. Equal benefits should be given to all married couples, however I don't believe that gay or lesbian couples should receive X amount of days uncharged leave to get married. I understand that only certain states allow the weddings, but what about a straight service member stationed on the East Coast that wants to marry their significant other on the West Coast, or maybe the couple just has a destination wedding planned? They have to just suck it up, plan around their leave available, and make the travel arrangements as needed.

    -SGT. USMC

    • Concerned Member says:

      Jeff: Your statements are so true. Are we saying as a straight member their marriage rights are not equal to a gay/lesbian couples? Is the administration trying to "make-up" for not recognizing their marriage equality? If so, this is not the way to help put them on equal terms with their straight co-workers. This is screaming for a lawsuit.

      As a straight military-military member who got married, we had to work around our military leave schedules and unit mission needs (exercises, deployments, TDYs). Good for the gay/lesbian couples to finally get their benefits, but giving them permissive leave where we are not allowed permissive is not the way to bring the forces together.

  10. I wonder how many service members wives would have loved to have "special leave" to get married wherever pleased them the most. Unfortunately like the rest of us, we have to use regular leave. Love the equality.

  11. The services are now a dumping ground for all liberal govt XXXXX.

  12. UNCHARGED LEAVE???????????

    Yeah, that's me yelling.

    In 20 years of AF service, I never had UNCHARGED leave, including the leave I took to marry my wife.

    My orientation was obviously askew.

  13. Make it simple. Every service member can get 7 days of uncharged leave if they are more than 100 miles from a state where they can be legally wed.

    God, you trolls. These people can't even LEGALLY enjoy their rights where they are serving and you complain that you weren't given leave to get married, EVEN THOUGH you can get married IN EVERY DAMN STATE IN THE DAMN COUNTRY. Wow, so discriminated against. Want to talk about privilage…

    Lets not even mention that there have been military serving who couldn't even mention who they loved or express their true feelings for someone for the past 2 decades because they would be discharged. Yup, must be so hard to be hetero…

    • gay dependent wife says:

      thank you! i have supported my wife, while she has served deployed in Kuwait, while she was on American soil, and while she is currently serving overseas. I provide care to our children while she is away, and emotional support to her as well, just the same as any other military spouse. If gays could get married in our own city, with all of our own friends present we would, but narrow-minded people have prevented that. We would rather be enjoying the same rights as everyone else, than getting "special" conditions for things like this. I would have loved to marry my wife in the presence of our friends and family, but Virginia state law prevented that, so we traveled to Mass, and while that day was amazing, we missed out on having it in our own town, where our friends could attend.

    • I once remember being told "Boy! If the military wanted you to have a wife; they would have issued you one;" Well that is just as true today as it was then; Getting married is YOUR choice and no one should give you anything like special leave to go and marry; You have 30 days a year leave; USE IT: do not try to game the system; Being Gay does not give you special rights;

  14. Retired AF says:

    Has it occurred to anyone that gays will now have an incentive to get married on a whim so their significant other can get all the benefits of a spouse, not only with the blessing but the encouragement of the military. All this when we keep hearing the dire consequences of the budget mess on the military in general.

    • gay dependent wife says:

      heteros do it all the time, and no one complains. y'all marry on a whim too, no difference. nobody cries about the budget when dependent wives of heteros have the military pay for their pregnancies and babies that were fathered not by the military sponsor, but by their "baby daddy" while their active duty husband is away at sea, or the dependent daughters who are ADULTS but still claiming daddy's insurance to pop out as many babies as they can before the free ride gets cut off. you will find heteros and gays that both marry for the wrong reasons, people are people, it's not fair to say the gays have an incentive. if we could get married in our own state, trust me, more people would LOVE to just walk in the JP in their own city to get married whenever, like y'all, instead, we have to plan and pay extra for a trip just to have the same right heteros have

  15. Wow must be really nice 7days. We worked around the military got 2 hours and no honeymoon night. He had to be back within those two hours did not even get the chance to have our first meal together because serving the military came first. (Didnt get to have a honeymoon night till 2months later so we where married but didnt even get to enjoy married life (if you know what. I mean)for 2 months. This is just not right WHATS NEXT IF your gay you get to check out before the men and women in uniform at the commissary? WOW such crap

  16. J. F. Carrillo says:

    And so we continue to let our Nation decay from within because we want to be PC… Glad I am no longer under the present leadership's command.

    J. F. Carrillo
    Retired USAF MSgt

    • gay dependent wife says:

      the nation is not decaying because gays can be in the military, I'm sure several gays protected your behind in some way during your time in the military, you were just unaware. the number of broken hetero homes, the children from hetero homes not having a father around, the number of hetero men beating their girlfriends/wives. when was the last time you heard of a gay being prosecuted for domestic assault/violence on their partner…..never. the nation is not decaying because of gays and their families in the military, if anything it has become stronger

    • I am glad I was never under the present leadership. I retired over five and half years ago.

    • We are glad you are not too!

  17. Suck it up you straight wimps. You've had marriage rights with all that entails for ages. It's time for some payback for your narrowed mindedness. Get over it. You keep asking where's the equality? You poor mistreated heterosexuals. Maybe if you would have supported gay rights years ago this would not be happening, but now you just look like a bunch of cry babies yelling sour grapes.

    • You are one pissed-off gay dude or what ever you are. I wish you the best but it sound like you are going to have a tough time.

    • Wow, I guess Daniel's narrowmind grouped everyone into the "Hater" category. I, for one, fully support gay rights. They should be allowed to take leave and get married just like any heterosexual couple. Or we can continue to discriminate by giving them preferential treatment. What do you want next Daniel? Private bathrooms? Private drinking fountains?

    • The Drama Queen is out with claws…Good grief!!! Suck it up?… payback?… narrowed minded? Who is hating on who here???
      This is why I want my Army back!!!

      .

    • Hey Daniel……had it not been for a heterosexual couple you likely would not exist.

    • I'm so fu..ing glad I retired when I did. I don't have to put up with all this BS anymore.

    • your full of crap. never got leave to get married. not covered in AR 630-5 or 630-10. equality is one thing. this gives same-sex marriage additional benefit. if that's the case, give it to all.

  18. I got married– wife was in military, stationed in a different place (more than 100 miles) — we both took time off – both was charged leave.
    Had child number 1 – took time off — was charged leave.
    Had child number 2 – took time off — was charged leave.
    Mother had a stroke –flew from Germany to see her — was charged leave.

    WOW, talk about changes. I though the goal was to treat everyone equal. This is not equal treatment for all military members. I guess my view of being equal is totally different from this decision.

    • gay dependent wife says:

      nobody has said anything about gays not getting charged for having kids, or gays getting free leave for a sick parent, come on, y'all are going way overboard. it's becoming comical

    • stop being such a coward. Gay and Lesbians served even when to do so put their very lives in danger from their own military family. So stop complaining because the United States of America has made a few liberties for the Soldier who had none "forever". So you hate gays. I get the picture. But at least you were allowed time off for your family. Gay and Lesbian military service personnel weren't even given the right to take time off for a sick partner. Big Baby. Wuss!!! I bet the soldiers you had watching your back were gay and you had no idea.

      • So we meet again rose. Last time I checked leave could be requested at any time, so this “given the right to take time off” doesn’t seem to fit within the bounds of the arguments being made. He was never given any time off, he used his leave for the different events. Not once did he say anything about “hating gays” like you have insinuated, but mentioned that he does not see this as equal treatment, which was supposed to be the entire goal behind this.

    • AirForce1 says:

      Too bad that you didn't do your research and find out that you could use maternity leave…When you wanted to get married, did you by chance have to go to another state because the state you were in wouldn't acknowledge your marriage….ponder on it for a minute. Cause Just Like you Gays have to take leave that is charged to them just like you.

      Had Child 1 – Found Regulation that allows for maternity leave for fathers…
      Had child number 2 – Used same regulation…

      All with the exception of Mother having a stroke, you took leave by choice….you were give 10 days for maternity leave for each kid and you wanted more time so you took it. Dont get all in your feelings behind a couple of days because GAYs cant marry in every state.

      If you feel some type of way, write your congress man or woman and let them know that GAYs should be able to get married in every state so they dont get free leave…

  19. BrienBear says:

    I hope they reword it to say –

    "All military members who live in a jurisdiction that does not allow their marriage of choice are given up to 10 days of leave for marriage purposes. If they live within a jurisdiction that allows marriage of their choosing, or within 100 miles of a state that allows the marriage of their choosing, they get no leave."

    That way you can't complain anymore. You all will be on a level playing field, gay and straight. If it's not legal for you, as a straight couple, to get married in the state you're in, then you can travel to a state it IS legal in and get married.

  20. Arty but I am calling Bul****t on this one!

  21. This is truly a sign that we need to vote. All people should be treated equal, you shouldn't get a free pass in the Military for sexual preference. DOD, Secretary of Defense and the Senate Armed Service Committee should be ashame of their self for such a discriminating leave. Let's vote people. Keep up with what our representatives are passing……

  22. ruth swingle says:

    Will the same rule apply to same sex marriages as the ruling is now?? That rule now is – when the Veteran dies the spouse will lose all benefits if she remarries.. That is the case now. My husband, deceased, served 30 years. I am over 70 and will lose all my benefits should I remarry!!!!

  23. JOHN HERNANDEZ says:

    I just think it is all bull**** and we never got free leave to go home and get married we had to use earnded leave leave to do it now they should have to do the same thing!!!!

    J.S. HERNANDEZ
    E-5 USN RETIRED

  24. This is BS. I had to take leave in 1970 to get married. It sounds to me we provide special treatment for gays and lesbian's that don't need to be in the military. Retired MSGt n1990

  25. This is clearly discrimination. No matter who it is wanting to get married and for whatever reason, if you take time off to do it, ALL PERSONAL doing so should have to use leave time…..period.

  26. Where are the Leaders, Generals, Officers & NCO's to even let such a thing ever get a leg to stand on… The elected are at fault also… We have this great fighting force that has allowed shame to ascend upon the military like never before… GOD HELP AMERICA!

    • Chippysgt says:

      About 90 % of the retired Flag and General officers collectively signed and sent letters to the President opposing allowing openly gay conduct in the military. I sat next to a retired Marine Corps Lt Gen who wears a Medal of Honor and he quietly said that gays in the military would be the worst thing for moral and combat readiness that would ever happen. It is the current leadership and the progressive liberal policy makers in Washington who have done this to our military. Brave New World……..

      • Chad dukes says:

        "Retired" flag officers. Retired means on the golf course, not writing policy. I'm sure there were some retired flag officers during the civil rights movement whom said blacks serving EQUALLY in the military would be "the worst thing for moral and combat readiness that would ever happen". We turned out just fine. Same thing for gays in the military, it's been two years since the repeal of DADT. Please site your sources which prove moral and combat readiness has suffered due to Petty Officer Smith putting a picture of his husband up on his desk. Don't worry. I'll wait. I'll even let you use Fox News as your APA source.

        • traditionalfamilyman says:

          its not the same to deny a race equal treatment as it is to allow gays to serve. Blacks served as well as anyone else, but they also served as males and females like everyone else. However gays in the military are different, for example deployments, are showers going to be changed, what about the individual who does not want a gay man to look at him showering, what about the straight woman who doesn't want the same either. are we going to make special arrangements for this. or does the non gay individual just has to put up with it. So I don't need Fox News to let me know morale would suffer, I saw it first hand. You just couldn't report it because u were considered weak and it would reflect on your performance report as not getting along with others. Lets see how the military will treat the gay community when bad things start to happen between gay couples. and I will use your news source what ever it may be!

        • I love it!! I'll wait with you.

      • This current CIC is out to destroy the military and this is one way to do it along with all the cuts. His motive is to destroy the economy also more than it is. Also making race come into pplay again and bring people against eachother that were getting along finally. God Bless and Help the USA for sure. Pray for it now as we need God more than ever.

      • Just because you have been awarded the medal of honor doesn't mean you cant be a homophobic bigot.

    • vetpatriot says:

      This more on our liberal elected officials starting with Obama, pushing their agenda once again.

      The Generals, Officers, & NCO's take they're marching orders from Washington D.C.

  27. But a disable "Vet of any % can't use the px,bx, coms, an any other store on base. What the ….

  28. One way to make it fair would be to allow those who want to go somewhere else or back to there home states and such in order to get married to do so without being charged leave as well.

  29. Edward Massey says:

    Let me start by apologizing beforehand for this long pontification.
    Okay, I've read most of the comments and once again I believe that people who are sitting there arguing about 10 days permissive TDY (because that is what it is called in the Army) is being a little narrowed minded. I've seen this coming for quite some time now, it was just a matter of when and I guess that has now also been answered.
    The question that Service-members need to address now is how this will affect their VA benefits once they either retire or ETS from the service. The DOD has been adamantly urging this administration that they must either raise the co-payments to all areas of Tricare (I'm talking about Dental, pharmaceutical, hospital both military and civilian co-payments) and other benefits that were “promised” to us when we volunteered or drafted or even discontinue some VA benefits altogether. Their major argument is that this nation’s military combat readiness is in jeopardy because they cannot afford any more budget cuts to the VA or other non-military programs.
    So, the question is this; how does the DOD plan to pay for these unforeseen and unintended cash outflows (because they never really expected this to happen so quickly)? Some program(s); or MOSs will go the same way that American manufacturing jobs headed overseas, never to return. This will also include a continued push to either terminate VA benefits or better yet, pass these costs onto the service-members who are no longer serving on active duty (I don’t mean National Guard or Reserve-members).
    Everyone has to admit that the train carrying the issue about same sex marriages within DOD and Federal Government has left the station, and there is no way that this train will be placed onto the opposite track in order to get the train back to the station. The semi-translucent 500 pound elephant driving this train, is where will all of this lead and who and how will this get paid for; “IF” the DOD mission doesn’t change or even increases in scope. That is what Active Duty, Reserve, National Guard and former active duty service-members must pay attention to. I’ve heard that the DOD is like a big corporation/business and if this is true, then just like their civilian corporate/business counterparts the current and former employees are the ones that will end up paying the bill.

  30. ABSOLUTELY THE MOST STUPID REASON I HAVE EVER HEARD OF TO HAND OUT FREE LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Seriously, because you have sex with the same gender and want to get married, you get 10 free days off to travel to somewhere it's legal…

    Get a grip you gay guys and gals. This isn't right. It's not fair to the whole military team. It may seem small in your individual mind but considering others out there have to take furloughs because our economy is in the bucket, this just makes things worse by costing the tax payer millions for free time off.

    Nobody handed me free time off in 10 years of service, and I wouldn't let anyone have a free day off to get married either. That is to be done on your own time.

    The military acknowledged you, they are no longer going to remove gay people, and they are even giving benefits to your same sex partners.
    So do us all a favor, don't accept this because it is preferential treatment and you know that isn't the right thing to do.

  31. Who ordered the CODE RED!!!!!!

  32. You voted for this left wing liberal, now you see the results, debt., no foreign policy, 2% growth, attacks on religion, the list goes .

  33. Tin Can Sailor says:

    Just my 2cents. Might as well stop complaining about inequality and start planning to align into a civilian career. It only gets worse from here,

  34. i'm glad I'm retired, but it still makes me sick to see how this country is going down the drain. if same sex marriages are legal, then that's the law. I don't agree with it, doesn't follow the Bible, but then many things don't now days and God will be the final judge on that. But to give same sex couples an added benefit is wrong, and probably illegal. it now discriminates against straight couples by giving those 10 days of uncharged leave that no one else is entitled to. DoD, Army, and others will have to change regulations. Want to cut housing allowance, and other benefits, but then give 10 days of free leave to same sex couples. what a mess we are in

  35. WE have come a long way, when, I wanted to get married, I had to get permission from myCO, I guess it worked, 63 yrs later we are together. Iguess that system worked, but I had to use my leave time

  36. Chad dukes says:

    It is an interesting stance to say same-sex couples UNFAIRLY get (up to) 10 days uncharged leave to travel to a state with legalized same-sex marriage. You want to know what else is UNFAIR?? Having to travel to from one of the THIRTY-SEVEN states that have NOT legalized same-sex marriage to one of the THIRTEEN states that HAVE actually legalized same-sex marriage. If everything was fair….as in ALL states allow same-sex marriage THEN all the naysayers would have a leg to stand on. UNTIL same-sex marriage is legal in ALL States then yes, it is VERY fair to give uncharged leave to same sex couples stationed in states that do not allow gay marriage so they can travel to a state that DOES allow gay marriage.

    • Chad,
      You're talking about our society in general being unfair. We're talking about military regulations and policy. The old saying applies…two wrongs don't make a right.

    • ArdvarkMaster says:

      It is not in the military's interest to assist ANY military service-member in getting married. The marriage is only in the military service-member's interest. It is also not in the ability of the military to change state law, only to live with them. All service-members are given adequate leave time and many use this leave to get married. Nothing prevents gays service-members from using their leave in the same manner.

      One thing that is in the interest of the military is treating ALL service-members equally. It is not up to the military to compensate for what some perceive as injustices in society, but it is up to the military to treat all service-members equally.

      Many in the gay community fought for recognition and equal treatment in the military. Supporting unequal treatment, for whatever reason, does them a disservice.

  37. When my wife and I were on active duty we both had to take leave to get married, so I do not understand why there should be a different standard or policy. If any active duty service member wants to get married they should take the necessary leave and it should be charged leave like it has been for years.

    • When i was active duty and in the dorms, the OSI sent agents in to pose as a gay person abd bring them out and then throw them out. I agred with that because back then anybody below E-4 had to have a room mate in most cases and when i first joined the first 3 years, i was in dorms that had 1 bathroom and open showers. I really don't think that many gays will openly come out, especially in the marines. I do not like violence, but somebody might and use it in the field if they know of one out there with them.

  38. I have no problem with the "full military benefits" for gays. But I do have a problem with the uncharged leave policy. Please explain to me why a straight couple who wants to travel 2000 miles, or for that matter 101 miles, to be with family for their wedding is not granted the same "uncharged" leave benefit.

  39. If a service member and fiance are stationed in Texas and want to go to Vegas to get married, they have to take leave as a straight couple, but a gay couple can travel to California from Texas and get 10 days? That is just not a fair thing to do.

  40. Common sense certainly is not being used on this matter. What is good for one group should apply to everyone. Evan the different ducks should be complaining on this one. Our leaders have no common sense. They just follow and get promoted. Far be it to complain or stand up for what's right. The Military is not being run by Military. ( I Hope) And if it is, our forces are in for a surprise. For yes Generals will be the ruin of a great Military force. (Ours)

  41. Jerry Curtis says:

    Not fair! Military people don't normally get free leave — even if there is a death in the family. All voluntary paid absences from the military should be chargeable against the annual leave account.

    • They gave my husband the day off to get married, would have given him more if he'd asked, and to pick me up at the airport when I landed any time I came back from visiting my mom. They didn't charge him. It's up to your chain of command, I guess. It would be much better if they could maybe guarantee everyone three-five no-charge days to get married. It's an important life event for everyone. On the other hand, I'm waffling a little, they give female servicemembers more time off when she has a baby than men. Her circumstances are special, and require special attention. If you live more than 100 miles away from a state where you can take care of legal matters, it makes sense to make a special accommodation. It will be interesting to see how this pans out.

  42. Dan Maglionico says:

    This is a bunch of crap. Servicemen or women that marry the opposite sex are not given the same. When I was stationed in Maryland and got married in Ohio I did not get "free' leave". In fact the Captain said that he would do me a big favor and not let me have leave at all.

  43. Tim McGrath says:

    The same 'Unfair !!' arguments were heard when mixed (Caucasian & Asian; Black & Asian and Black & White) married couples got 'Head of the Line' entry into US Navy Housing in Norfolk Va due to the biased laws at the time. It's a Federal Agency abiding by Federal Law and protecting its members.

  44. SJtampabay says:

    Same sex couples will one day answer to a " Higher Power", and so will the idiots who are making these changes in the military and condoning this behavior. God help us all for we know not what or when the next bomb will be dropped on us.

  45. then give every heterosexual couple stationed away from home who want to marry the same leave time to marry in their state of choice and have family present. They schedule their time off from available leave balances and are not given extra time. Should never have done away with don't ask…

    • EQUALITY for Gays and Lesbian is still not sanctioned by all states. Therefore, The Homosexuals need extra time to get to a state that it is sanctioned. 10 days leave is for oversees only. Also, You are a little man with a big mouth. When I say little, I mean LITTLE.

      • Extra time that falls on the taxpayers wallet. I understand the inconvenience, but the leave should be restricted to traveling days and should not encompass the entire event. Last time I checked, it does not take 7 days or 10 days to fly to any point on this Earth. No one else is getting their wedding days off for free, why should someone because they are gay?

  46. notontheBandWagon says:

    back to the point. 7 days (plus 3 days travel time; 10 total) because you have a certain sexual preference.. why that's discrimination. since i'm being discriminated on, i guess i can go ahead and discriminate on those in my work center.. thanks for teh right to discriminate govt!!!

  47. If you are a young man, thinking about the military. I would say think twice about joining.

  48. Sickened by this. says:

    I think congress needs to sit down and read the Bible, especially Leviticus 18:22. GOD made Adam & Eve to be together, not Adam & Steve. If GOD met for same sex people to be married, He would have made everyone a man or woman. He would not have made both sexes. READ THE BIBLE, READ THE BIBLE!!! GOD gave us His 10 Commandments and Laws for a reason. He tells you what will happen to you if you do not follow them. They should have left the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" in. This whole thing sickens me. Gays in the military have no rights, except to get out and go home.

    • Everyone doesn't believe in the BIBLE. But, I do know that for you to think you know more than God than you are truly the antichrist. God says forgive thy enemies and love thy neighbors as you love yourself. Also Do not Judge lest thee be judged yourself. God says he is the only one who can judge. Your Bible talks about forgiveness and Love. You only want hate and bigotry. Who do you think God cares about more? The loving couples of the same sex or the Blasphemest and Stone thrower. Get a life. If you are not Gay this doesn't concern you.

  49. The emperor has no clothes. Judeo and Christian and Muslim values have been thrown away in the name of equality. The people that passed these laws obviously believe they are right and God is a myth.

  50. kOREA '52 says:

    Since when are other peoples' sex lives any of your business?
    Get over it, Gossip Guy — what about the gay guy who saves your foolish live — want to punch him out because he's homo?
    SHAME ON YOU.FOR YOUR CONCEIT AND HATE.
    SIGNED,
    PURPLE HEART, KOREA 1952
    .

    • Kitty8021 says:

      That's just the point. Their sex lives aren't any of our business. THEY make it our business by flaunting it and demanding equal rights because of who THEY are having sex with. There is no difference between homosexuals and all us other sinners. The only difference I can see is that I repented of my sins and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Homosexuals not only continue to live in their sin but they are forcing the rest of us to change laws, a belief system that has been in place for decades and contributing to the moral decay of this once great nation. I don't have hate for the individual, just their sin. This lifestyle not only effects them but will effect generations to come. I've seen this first hand in my own family.

      • gay dependent wife says:

        if you are not gay, then the laws don't affect you..if you don't want them to, I would suggest staying out of a homosexual relationship if I were you. Flaunt it?? lol. thats funny. we are just living our life, just as you are. no one claims that you are flaunting your sexuality when you marry your spouse, or walk down the street holding hands. not only homosexuals live in sin, but heteros as well, wanna know why?? because we are all people, and as long as we are all human, we will all live in sin…..wow, the amount of hat and ignorance on here is amazing!! Good chance all of you who have such hate wouldn't be here today, if it wasn't for all the homosexuals that served quietly in the military over all these years fighting your your lives and your freedom….how quickly you forget and are ungrateful.

        • You dont have to flaunt being normal. Marriage is only between a negative and a positive. This is the only system that works. Gay dep wife, give the world one benefits from your relationship. Just one that you can give as a result of being together with the same sex. Just one.

        • traditionalfamilyman says:

          I don't recall people making a big deal of people holding hands regardless if you are gay or not. But have u ever seen a gay parade? Yes they do flaunt it. When have u seen a straight parade, or an advertisement for straight parade. however, their are lots of gay parades with people on floats, half necked throwing condoms, performing sexual acts, cross dressing, and grown man wearing nothing but a thong. And you can't say anything because its freedom of expression. Yeah keep leaving your lives, but keep your sex live in the room not on parade floats. And no one has forgotten what people have done for us all gay or not. Don't even go their, I lost two friends in combat one was gay so just don't go their! u r doing them no favors

    • traditionalfamilyman says:

      Other peoples "sex lives" becomes our business when they affect our lives. I was once denied entrance into a bar in San Fransisco because it was a gay bar and I wasn't. talk about double standard, only when it fits their needs. Now they have special gay leave for couples. Give me a break. If you want to be gay go ahead just don't force your crap on others. If you want to marry go ahead but call it something else, traditional marriage should not suffer so your feelings wont be hurt. And religion should not be force to chance their definition of marriage to fit your needs. Call it something else, i don;t care you call it, but leave marriage alone. Just so you know I don't have gay people, I have a gay step daughter and several friends that are gay. I don't make special arrangements for them. I treat them the same as everyone else. I never ask them to give something up so it fits my needs. And that is the way it should be. Cant wait to see what other special treatment they want or what else the gay community wants to take away from traditional families

      WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO REPEAT IT MR. PURPLE HEART, KOREA.
      signed,
      desert shield, desert storm, operation restore hope, operation Iraqi Freedom.

  51. vetpatriot says:

    This is unbelievably outrageous! This is what happens when you have liberals in charge, the rights of the few outweigh the rights the many. I'm so glad I'm not active duty anymore, I feel sorry for those of you who have to serve under this oppression. This started with Clinton and now Obama, what a cluster f–k this is. Cutting the military and giving special rights, not equal.

    We keep letting the welfare class elect our officials and going closer to Communism/Socialism/Liberalism. We fought Communism/Socialism for 70+ years and now seem to embrace it, amazing.

    God and Country used to mean something now that just seems to trampled on more and more.

    • I'm also glad your are no longer in the military. You are a narrow minded bigot. Live and let live! We all can't be perfect like you. Thank god!

      Gays and Lesbians have been serving honorably since the beginning of our great country. You complain about Socialism, bet you wont complain when its your turn to go collect your SOCIAL SECURITY CHECK.

  52. wow.. I'm flabbergasted to read this. My husband and I had to fight hard to get the leave required for our marriage, no one handed it to us, and it counted against his 30 annual days, he also had to fight to get his house hunting leave when we separated… guess what, they didn't give it to him… but we'd be able to have free leave if we were the same gender? WHAT?
    Also, I wonder if same sex partners are both getting insurance under TRICARE now, then does that mean when they want to have a child the military will cover the medical or legal fees to obtain that child? I have several friends who have had to fight TRICARE and the system to get the help with fertility treatment that they needed to be able to conceive when both sperm and egg were present within their marriage… will the same sex partners be 'given' free children?
    I pray God turns the hearts of those who are in sin… I know I am a sinner and not nearly perfect, but I do try to seek forgiveness and turn from my sins as I learn about them… I don't see that happening with the homosexuals who live in my own town (non-military) and claim to be Christian… I don't understand the way our world is turning.

    • gay dependent wife says:

      I feel sorry for you and your family. Shame on you for your ignorance. Yes you are a sinner, and no better than anyone else. Yes, OUR children will be covered under tricare just like all other military dependent children. We are not asking for anyone to pay legal fees to obtain a child but we will have the same coverage for infertility as ignorant heteros. Those of us who already have children and marry a service member deserve for our dependents to be treated like all other military children…… From what I gather from your writings, you are not claiming to be Christian either

      • Traditionalist4ever says:

        Part I

        And, I feel sorry for you for claiming intellectual and moral superiority because you are GAY and think you are OMNIPOTENT and everyone else has to either sanction your behavior or be "punished" and sent to the "homophobia land" if they do not!!

        I am absolutely aghast at how gays and their "Advocate-in-Chief" have hijacked the public discourse and have conducted "arm-twisting" on this issue and have convinced so many otherwise reasonable and intelligent people that two men or two women getting "married" is absolutely no different than the biblically sanctioned man and woman. Man, how far have we come in the "American Den of Iniquity" when wrong is now right and down is now up and the list goes on!!!

    • oh no your life is so ruined, ha get over your self… why should it be okay to pay for non-gays to have babies…. if it is covered…. you had to fight cry cry cry…
      I am not a sinner and you get that out of a book written by men who also hated women and controlled women and still do… christians think you are so better, no religion rules my life. and you are no longer together with your husband, good one. how long were you together, I bet less than 5 years.
      I have served, my partner has served, we have been together for 24 years.
      we don't need to explain our love to anyone like you… stop using religion to be a bigot….
      oh never mind, no getting through stone walls….

      • christopher guest says:

        The good news is that both straight and gay people will be able to get uncharged leave if they cannot get married to someone of the same gender in the state where they are stationed.

        I make this statement in response to the idea that the prohibition against same-gender marriage does not discriminate because both straight and gay people cannot marry someone of the same gender.

    • If we could get married in every state as you can then we wouldn't need "FREE" leave. There is nothing eaqual about not being allowe to marry where ever we want. There are only 13 places in the USA that we can get married. So when you vote to allow us to get married where ever you can then let's talk about fair and handing something to us.
      Ignorance is bliss Samantha!!!!!!!!!!!!

  53. What a mess. This administration has opened Pandora's box. They will ask for more special benes based on sexual preference.

  54. nautic3727 says:

    Push back on homosexual demands. Homosexuals should consider themselves lucky not to be banished to the closet. Homosexuals are making life difficult for heterosexuals, since there are far more heterosexuals than homosexuals, imposing on heterosexuals is unreasonable. Peter Guild, Quincy, MA.

  55. Kajun, in LA says:

    I guess I just don't get it, I served 21 years and not once did I get free leave to go see my wife and children when I was on remotes. I'm not against gays being in the military, don't think being gay is right, but if they won't to serve and I know for a fact that thy're a few that I worked with when I was active, they should have to use their leave just like I did to go get married. I had to use my leave when I went home to marry my wife. The U.S. and our military are becoming the laughing stock of the world. I hope our next president is a whole lot better than the one we have now.

  56. Steve Perry says:

    There isn't a vet alive that wouldn't take atavantage of the same benifit if offered. I have served in Somolia, Iraq and Afghanistan and when the bullets are flying it doesn't matter what somebodys sexual orientation is the only thing that matters is the Marine or Soldier beside you. An yes I have served in both services and I'm still on active duty. You combat vets should know this. Times are changing. Or should we go back to the white only or black only units. If you arn't man or women enough to except this then you should retire.

    • I have no problem with anyone getting leave to go get married. I do have a problem when a group is singled out to get free leave based on their sexual orientation. This policy should be for both homosexual and heterosexual couples. You still being active duty should know that it is not right to single out a single group.

      • Steve Perry says:

        I agree with what you say about singling out a group of people, but when all states have legal gay marrige laws then there will be no need for special leave. I have been married to my wife for 21 years and I had to take leave to get married. Leave which came off of my books. When anybody serving in the millitary or not serving has the right to get married to who they want when they want all of this discussion wont even matter anymore. I am in a Field Artillery Unit and soon we will be getting our first female officer. Everything has to start somewhere. An thank you for your comment.

        • Actually this is no different than a heterosexual couple who want to be married somewhere of their choosing. Besides the difference of a state granting a marriage certificate for homosexuals, all are making the choice to get married in the place they want to marry. Heterosexual couples get charged leave, so should homosexual couples. As for your comment about going back to white and black units….while we are not going there…we are bring back the "separate but equal" mentality through this. Division is being created by these policy changes.

          • BrienBear says:

            I would rather get married in my state of domicile but instead I had to go to Iowa. So no, I'm not getting married in the state I want to get married in. It sucked to have to run away to another state.

      • MR1SW RET says:

        I agree with you !
        Same Same FOR ALL GI.

    • Retire… Glad I did ( in 2009) before most of the force degrading policies, political correctness, and social engineering garbage infected our military.

  57. Steve Perry says:

    You people want to complain about something, fix our education system. There are high school graduates that cant even pass the ASVAB with a high enough score to be a grunt ( no offence to the 0311's or the 11B's out there )

  58. It will be fair when either ALL or NONE get the same benefit.

  59. The way I see it, it you are willing to put your life on the line, you deserve all you cab get! It does not matter if you are gay or straight, A gay medic saved my life 43 years ago.

  60. I'm not against gays in the military. If you are willing to put your life on the line for this country then it does not matter, race, sex, creed, religion, gender etc… but to specifically call out one group and give them more than any other group is wrong. I wanted to fly home and get married with my family and friends, but I did not get any special extra time, so why should they.

  61. I’m a married lesbian in the USAF and although I understand and appreciate the intent of the “marriage leave” accommodation, I do NOT agree with it. Everyone else uses their own leave to get married so why shouldn’t we? In my opion that is giving preferential treatment which is what the officials said wasn’t going to happen. I’m just happy to get healthcare and dependent rates to help provide better for my family!

    • Wow!!! If this is the case then ALL SERVICEMEMBERS should get 7 -10 days uncharged leave to get married. What is the difference? Marriage is marriage.

    • Disabled Vet says:

      I am a Str8 married (USAF 1963-1967) man but agree with the policy. When I was married I had the choice to get married where I was living (stationed) or go elsewhere. Gay service members do not have such a choice. They MUST go elsewhere if the state were they are stationed does not allow gay marriage. The new policy simply accounts for those states which do not allow gay marriage. It is bad enough that states are not recognizing the marriage of gay couples who happened to have gotten married in a state that allows such marriages.
      Truthfully I do not know WHY there has not been a case to the Supreme Court with regards to gay marriages not being recognized in all 50 states. Such a case is surely on the horizon.
      Simply stated I believe in total equality for all citizens. Where needed policies such as the gay-leave policy helps to even the field. Quit sounding like a spoiled bunch of brats saying "I didn't have that so you can't have it either!"

  62. WATCH OUT EVERYONE!!! This is just another way our GOVERNMENT is trying to tear this country apart. If we go against each other then they GOVERNMENT can do what they want!!!!!

  63. When my husband and I got married (we are heterosexual) I had to fly to where he was and he was not even almost not even allowed to spend our wedding night with me. This is ridiculous. They should use their own leave to go get married just like heterosexuals so. Why are they getting special treatment?

    • Because we can't get married anywhere like you can. Such ignorance!
      No one is asking for any speacial treatment. Just equal. When we can get married in all 50 states then lets talk!!!!!!!!

  64. How did we end up with a country run by idiots?

  65. disapointed says:

    I see a large amount of ignorance in the comments left on this topic. Many get married for the wrong reasons no matter what their orientation is. I am sure if there was a crack down on the rights avaliable to those of a heterosexual persuasion, tantrums would be thrown. Who are you to raise your hand to make a solem oath to protect the rights of ALL in this country yet deny your own fellow service members brave enough to take that oath with you basic human rights. The rights which you took an oath to defend, lots of integrity there folks. We have to leave our personal biases behind and live up to the promises made to a country full of diversity. If you can not fufill that oath without hate in your heart then take that chip on your shoulder elsewhere. We as service members are to rise above the hatred and ignorance, not add to it.

    • Sarge1803 says:

      It’s not about a chip on my shoulder, it's about equality. Giving one segment of the military special treatment over the other is wrong.
      Everyone earns leave and should be charged leave while not on duty. Regardless of where you get married, you still have to use leave if the marriage is conducted at a time that would be considered a duty day or period.
      Special privileges for only a few service members is discrimination. Something that should not be tolerated in the military.

  66. Two things:
    1. Regardless of your sexual orientation free leave to get married is unfair to everyone else who has to use leave days to travel more than a 100 miles to get married.
    2. How does same sex marriage work as far as taxes? Federally it is still illegal to marry the same sex. Although states have these marriages the benefits and taxes (federally) do not apply. So I'm confused.

    • Very good point

    • BrienBear says:

      Federally it's not illegal to marry the same sex because the federal government has no rules and regulations anymore regarding same sex marriage. All marriages, regardless of gender, are now recognized on a federal level. DOMA being struck down was the cause of that. So as far as taxes, when I file federally, I'll be filing married. However state is a different story. I will probably have to file single there.

      • Married Vet says:

        What ever happend to the requirement that states are required to recognize each other's laws? My wife and I married in Las Vegas, EVERY state in the union, recognizes our marriage because of that legal requirement of recognition. Otherwise a bigamist could marry in say Utah, then go to Colorado and marry another woman and then possibly go to Arizona and marry yet another woman. Conceivably one could marry over 53 woman, given the logic of same-sex marriage recognition. Such recognition actually stems from requiring that no state charge a fee for someone to cross it's borders.

        • BrienBear says:

          Well… That's the last part of DOMA to be removed. So DOMA had 2 statutes. 1 was marriage was between 1man-1woman, 2. No state had to recognize a same-sex marriage from another state and I forget what the third one was. It was actually the most straightforward amendment that had been put out there. It was literally 1 page long.

          Anyway, once the second part of DOMA is struck down (and it will, probably relatively quick), then all states will have to legally recognize all marriages.

  67. eather you live in GOD or you leave with satan …but all us old time vets cant even get a break form the gov but then to back pay or just pay them…..there are so many other important things out there to resolve..give to ceasar what is his….

  68. PO2sailor says:

    Actually gay or not it concerns all of us. If your not military it doesn't concern you though. But this whole fight for equality is dumb. How many people do you know that are in the military get married in the place they are stationed at? Legal or not. So you say your "forced" to go elsewhere to get married so free leave is okay. But for the ones that want to go home and get married they should have to burn their leave? How is that equal?

  69. MR1SW RET says:

    Next there will be more standards changed for another special interest group,across the board, including promotions, physical fitness, appearance, and then there is the rewriting of the UCMJ while we are at it.
    Rome is falling to the Sodomites!

    • Former PO2 says:

      Former PO2 I think this new kinder gentler approach to peoples feelings and moral compass is ridiculous. Homosexuality is a sin and it is offensive to most people. If you are this way that is your business, but one of the reasons that I left the military is it's new senisibility to peoples feeling. Our military is getting weaker and weaker every day, now we have to accomodate pillow biters. PATHETIC

  70. Solution: Spread that "free leave" to anyone who wishes to marry in another place. Gotta make it equal…________

  71. Option two: Keep your personal stuff on the inside (shut-up about it) and don't make it somebody else's job to make your life any better. As they always told us in the Air Force (like we were in Kindergarten)… "Just shut up and color!"

  72. I spent 33 years in the Military and was in WW 2 Korea, Berlin Crisis,
    our Military will eventually be eliminated if this kind of conduct is permitted.
    You don't have to believe in any kind of behavior to know this is wrong.
    What is wrong with our leaders? Problems are bad enough as it is, with this
    new bunch, everything goes, we must have some kind of standards set
    in our lives, and not just live like the dogs in the street.

  73. NavyVet24 says:

    I've been with my partner, hiding our relationship in terrified silence while on Active Duty, for 12 years before DADT was lifted. We never got an extra penny that everyone else with spouses got. Boo-hoo you say, just go get married. In early July we finally did, although because our state (Hawaii) does not recognize gay marriage, we had to fly to a state that does. The difference is that the opposite sex couple has the inherent right to marry wherever they are stationed and do not have to take ANY leave if they don't want to. Is 10 days necessary? I would have been grateful for half of that. But unless you apply for a license in person on a Monday or Tuesday, you'll likely have to wait until the following week to have the ceremony to meet the state's waiting period. If you truly want to make things "fair", then allow same-sex couples their right to marry wherever they are stationed, and then no special "marriage leave" would ever be necessary for anyone.

    • NavyVet24 says:

      It's fascinating that after years of hateful discrimination (which continues even now in these postings above), that NOW there's "righteous indignation" that gays will be getting an "unfair" benefit. Where have you all been for the last decade, and where are all your complaints against my state currently not allowing my marriage? Or for the VA STILL not recognizing my spouse (or allowing us to get a Joint VA loan to buy a house, or get benefits if I die from a service-connected disability), even after DOMA fell?

      Any of you have any righteous indignation left to complain about any of that?

      And brother, you'd best look up the definition of sodomy before you start throwing that accusation around. You'll hit an awful lot of people, probably even yourself.

      • NavyVet24,

        Speaking for myself, I don't see the need to explain anything, things are what they are until they'er changed, that's all there is to it.

    • The opposite sex you say have inherent the right to marry any where? Very poor statement. When in the military not many people are in the state of their choice to marry. Many military folks make things work, we have taken time off to do what needs to be done. This whole thing about giving same sex couples 10 days is not equal. We want equal then same sex couples need to be held to the same rules others are held to, after all this is what you wanted, equality.
      First of all the military did not issue you a marriage, do it on your own time and dime. What is next, free time to figure out the children. Talk to all the spouses who have had children with their spouse being deployed. They did not get free time to come home!!! Get married, have a family but do it equally to the ones you stand next to on the front lines.

      • AirForce1 says:

        Listen to yourself….When in the military not many people are in the state of their choice to marry….
        It's a choice (Straight) to get married in the state you live in or you can drive to a state you want to get married in….
        It's not a choice for GAYs you have to go to a state that allows it…
        There is been alot of not equal things done in the military that were benefits to straight people, you've been able to live your life freely and openly….Gays are just now being afford to have the same equal rights…

        • Idmtmedic says:

          Then here is an idea. How about YOU and your spouse plan to marry in a state that allows it and THEN plan your wedding just like everybody else. Family have to attend or not and last I checked THEY have to travel? Your choice where to get married and last I checked you have many options. I agree you should have the option but not FREE leave. BS!

  74. NavyNancy says:

    Maybe the policy was put in place so soldiers who are supposed to FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT wil now ARGUE, ARGUE, ARGUE… looks like the plan is working!!!

  75. I wonder if this will result in an increase in "chuck" marriages among straight people to attempt to game the system. Just thinking.

  76. In protest every single straight military person male or female should go out and get married. Apply for your leave of absent for marriage, get with your friends and get married just to cause financial burden on the government. Everyone of you have the right to collect the married financial allowances benefits from your service branch. This is your protest!!

  77. The intentions were honorable. But if we want all service members accept equality, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, etc, the leadership needs to follow those rules. Boy oh Boy – another reason for some to hate….well, you know. Remember when we marched everyone to Biggot U and made them listen to Dick Gregory records – yep, it was that long ago. If you were ok when you went in, many came out more angry than ever. Here is an idea – treat everyone equally and set the example for all. Focus on the few who demonstrate discrimination.

  78. Why can't non-gays get seven days uncharged leave to get married???

    • StraightSoldier says:
      • Idmtmedic says:

        Good then pay for your relatives also? VEGAS does it 24/7. What's the problem? The policy is BS as well as your argument. You wanna get married then plan for it like everybody else. Save your money and do it at YOUR cost, not everybody else. I am not against gays being married or getting the benefits but your argument reeks of special treatment!

        • I agree. Why are gays and lesbian couple entitled to extra leave to get married? My husband had to take leave to get married to me because he would have had to work during our honeymoon otherwise it took only a couple hours to be married. If they wanted to be "fair", they should have only granted gay and lesbian couple 3 days of leave to include Friday for travel and the weekend to get married. Why do they get 10 days? ALL members should get 10 days then. Having a elaborate wedding is not an entitlement nor is getting married. What they can obtain a legal marriage at an airport of a state that recognizes gay marriage? Then, it would just take a flight there and back. Why does that equate to 10 days?

          • because straight couples can get married everywhere, gays can't. they can't just go to the chaplain and get married quickly like straight couples.

  79. LesbianSoldier says:

    I'm An MP… I'm A Lesbian … I Am Getting Married. I Don't Care About The Leave, All I Care About Is Marrying My Beautiful Fiance' & Being Able To Have Her By My Side Wherever Possible.